more understanding

i went for lunch after the service. had fried dumpling ramen. very nice. then after serving my ministry, i hang around the office. and pastor tim started telling us stories. one of which is that all those man who are used by God faced great test- eg death. (yeah, i stunned.) but think in this way, God knows things the best. He wouldn't take away someone for no reason and wants X to fall. and sometimes if X pray for somebody and that somebody did not recover or died/X can't get what X wants after praying, it's not because God is not with X nor he has forsaken X, it's that He wanted to place an irritant in X and make X wants to get it more- have greater thirst or desire like> (X: i want to get it/ i want to lay hands and others shall be healed/resurrected).

i once told myself that i wanted to be used by God like my pastors. but i didn't know that there's a lot for man of God to face before they are the man of God. maybe that's why God wanted to reveal to me.

Thus, i think i'm not ready for it yet. though i'm still a baby in Christ, i think it's a good to dream to be one like them .

Thank God for revealing it to me. :D